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Are you desperately looking for that person who’s your perfect match? Are you swiping through Tinder to absolutely no avail? Do family gatherings give you anxiety because of “when are you getting married?” or “have you found a boyfriend yet?” questions? Maybe you hear the marriage time bomb ticking and worry about your limited options for a perfect partner?
Here’s the truth: real life is a little bit more like The Bachelorette than we think. Making a lifetime commitment does not have to be an act of destiny, bringing two souls together. It is simply a choice to give your final rose to the person you believe is going to make you the happiest (but probably without having to say you’re here for the right reasons 100 times). I believe the ideology of searching for a soulmate is not only outdated, but might even be damaging.
It’s 2020: lyrics like “look up in the mirror like damn she the one” are winning Grammys, happy relationships are starting from apps on iPhones, and Elle Woods chose a law career (and dignity) over Warner almost 20 years ago. The idea of searching for The One is outdated, and quite frankly, depressing. Here’s why “finding The One” no longer has a place in my vocabulary (even as the hopeless romantic that I am) and what it means in 2020:
It can cause problems in your dating life.
If you believe you’re destined for the other half to your whole, or the one perfect person in the entire universe best suited for you, you’ll likely reject even compatible partners out of a belief that there’s something better out there.
